Instant Gratification...or...No Long Range Plan

Sometimes you just want to scream and force your children to make the right choice instead of the stupid one.  They need to learn that in real life every choice has a consequence and it's not always a fun one.  But, sometimes it takes a lot of tongue biting to keep from making the choice for them.

Certain children in our home make EVERY choice based on what makes this moment better...don't care about later even when they know what will happen later for that choice...I want to scream 'Plan ahead!'  'Think Long Term!'

I can talk until I'm blue in the face about consequences and thinking before they act, and they will STILL choose five minutes of pleasure now over hours of suffering later.

A teacher who works with ADD kids explained to me how children (and adults) who are very right-brained, creative types have a problem with the concept of later.  The right sides of our brains have no concept of time...time is kept on the left side, so if you are in your right brain, there is need to worry about the random concept of later, because right now is all that exists.....

I still don't get it...how can you be given a choice-one you have all day to ponder-not some spur of the moment didn't really think it over thing....and STILL choose the choice that makes the next few days easier, but the whole next year difficult?  Don't you care?  Do you think it won't really happen? 

We've been listening to a parenting series called 'Loving on Purpose'. It's great.  It really makes me strive to be a better parent.  But being a better parent does not mean saving my kids from their mistakes, it means loving them even when they make mistakes.  It's about letting them learn from the choices they make, not trying to control their choices for them.  It's about trying to be more like the parent that God is to us...providing us with every opportunity, but allowing us freedom to make good or bad choices and walking with us no matter what mess those choices lead us into.  It's not easy.  And the author of the series swears that our kids will surprise us with their genius ability to make better choices when they've screwed up once...but so far, I'm not seeing it...

Please, please, please listen to our advice and learn to make choices that are good for the long run instead of providing yourself with instant gratification!!!

I will love you no matter what, but the choices you are making daily make no sense to me and I am not going to bail you out when they cause you to sink.  You will have to live with the consequences.

They don't get out much....

We went on a mini vacation this weekend.  Stayed in a hotel overnight with the kids.  We don't stay in hotels...EVER...we camp...

You would have thought they had never been in a bedroom with attached bathroom before...or seen a front door...because basically that is what a hotel room is.

Within 30 seconds, Noah and Alex had opened every door/drawer in the place.  Exclaiming joyfully the entire time....

Then one of the kids discovered that the door had a peep-hole...we don't have one at home, but they really are not that uncommon...are they?  We got at least 10 minutes of excitement over that discovery!

Then Alex was concerned (called me into the bathroom with his pants still down!) because there was no soap to wash his hands with...he's just not used to finding the soap wrapped in cute little packages!  Faith was also thrilled with the little soaps and brought the unopened ones home with her.

Two of the kids asked me if the free continental breakfast cost anything.

The rest of our trip consisted of a trip through Wildlife Safari, Visiting Noah's Ark and a life size replica of Moses' Wilderness Tabernacle, Dinner at an all you can eat Chinese buffet, shopping in Bandon, miniature golfing, and a picnic.  Very fun-filled two days, but I'm glad to be home...and to sleep in my own bed tonight!

Oh, the quantities of food we consume...

I knew that we buy massive amounts of food each week.  I knew that the majority of that food was consumed each week.  I knew I buy in quantity.

I didn't know we had a reputation at Grocery Outlet....

Last night we were in town for our weekly haul, and as usual, we started at Grocery Outlet to scope out the deals.  Anything I need that isn't on sale elsewhere, I look for first there.  Usually each week, we get half our produce, most of our bread/buns/tortillas, margarine, yogurt, some cheese, a few canned things, and any markdown meat. 

The markdown meat section is where we apparently have a reputation....

Last night they had close-dated ground beef marked down $5....this made the cost less than $2/lb....so we grabbed all six, 5lb chubs....a few minutes later an employee noticed we had it in our cart and exclaimed,

"I knew it must be you when I was told someone was checking out my markdown meat!"

She went on and on about how she'd marked it down some last night, more this morning, and further just before we came in, trying to sell out.  Then at the register, the cashier and bagger both commented on how they couldn't believe we took it all.  And the lady in line behind us wanted some--sorry we got it all! :)

It's like we always buy massive quantities of markdown meat or something....oh, wait, we do! 

Last week we bought 54 packages of hot dogs for 75 cents each....a few weeks before that, we bought about 40 pounds of bacon (maybe more?!) for 99 cents/lb.

Hey, it's how we keep the freezers full of meat without completely breaking the bank!  It just seems like an odd thing for people to know you for!

No One Died!

Alex was in a foul mood this afternoon, as his two big brothers ganged up on him to fetch the baseball that he didn't catch....not sure why he didn't think it was his to get, but totally understand that he hates when it's two against one.  In order to act tough and keep from crying, he had to put on his grouchy face and refuse to be happy. 

I don't particularly appreciate grouchiness and when he fussed, "I'm bored and need something fun to do," somehow I ended up suggesting that he TP his brothers' room.  Grouchiness immediately gone.  Much giggling and grinning ensued. (Cody & Jared were out of the house for band)

I laid down the ground rule that if he did it, he would also be in charge of cleaning it up.  We both expected Cody to arrive home first and I was a little concerned that Cody would threaten life and limb to whomever had done the deed.  I was also sure that I would be laughing so hard, I would be unable to stop the massacre.

I was also not sure if Alex or I would be able to keep our poker faces on and not make the victim suspicious.  We managed to keep semi-straight faces, but unfortunately, Jared arrived home before Cody.  His reaction was not nearly as rewarding as I expect Cody's would have been. 

After a loud, "What!?!?"  He calmly picked up all the paper and re-decorated Alex's room with it.  (He knew who the culprit was by uproarious laughter coming from Alex the minute he had discovered his room!)  I thought it was hilarious that the pranker got pranked!  Alex not so much....immediate return of the grouchy face....which got him a lecture of, "If you are going to dish it out, you had better be able to take it!"  He was then sent to his room to cool off....which he did in admirable fashion, returning after a few minutes pretending to have a super sized tissue.

eek! Can't make it rotate, so tip your head and pretend!

This sparked many jokes about family-sized tissue....and sharing it to blow all of our noses....Good humor was returned, peace was restored and all were happy!

Presidents Day

Not the holiday. 

Last Sunday.

Noah and Alex call these their "Presidents Suits".  It's been a while since I've seen them (the suits that is, I see the boys most every day).  For a while Noah was wearing a suit several times a month, even to kindergarten.  So Sunday, since they were both in suits, Alex was the president and Noah was the vice president.  And, they were role-playing it all day.

Tom and Jared had driven the little van to a gun show, so Noah and Alex decided that we would drive the "Presidential limousine" to church.  In case you haven't seen this vehicle, few people would give it such an illustrious title (and I doubt the president would ever be caught near it!)

I of course was the "Presidential Chauffeur". 

They insisted that Cody was the "Butler" (even though he vehemently objected!). 

Really, I think the only reason they wanted a butler was because they are nine years old and really like words that contain the word "butt". 

At one point the Presidential Limo was nearly annihilated

when the vice president was pretending to be Iron Man and threatened to blast it. 

The chauffeur saved the day by reminding him that if the limo was destroyed, the Presidential Chef wouldn't be able to stop at the grocery store for the Presidential Groceries and he might get hungry.

As cute as they looked in their suits, what really made the outfits was their shoes:



Noah's Cowboy Boots



Alex's Flame Runners





I'm going to have to find them bigger suits.

(they only have one complete with jacket)

Alex's pants were just barely long enough,

and his shirt was also on the small side.

Catering to my children

So, we watched "The Middle" this week (if you haven't seen it, it is very funny) and it got me thinking.  The theme of the show was that the parents spent all of their time doing everything the kids wanted and nothing they wanted (for instance, they always bought cheese pizza even though they liked Hawaiian, because the kids hated pineapple).  They also dropped everything every time the kids needed something, (like if they left their lunch at home, or needed something for a last minute school project).  The kids always chose what was on TV, and were expected to do no work around the house.

Of course I thought "I'm not like that."  My kids eat what they are served.  Our rule is "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit."  Then I went grocery shopping.  While trying to fit everything in the fridge, I realized that I do cater to my kids to some extent. 

We currently have four flavors of salad dressing in the fridge, including three varieties of ranch, to suit every ones tastes.  One ranch is Cody's homemade recipe, which is the only one he will eat, one is Hidden Valley (Faith's favorite), and one is Kraft, which no one likes, but I got it on sale so I feed it to the daycare kids who are too young to care.   But I also have the kinds of dressing that Tom and I prefer.

In the cheese drawer we also have a type of cheese to fit every one's likes and every possible situation.  We have string cheese, Velveeta, sliced American, bricks of pepper jack, regular jack, cheddar, vintage white sharp cheddar & Colby jack, three varieties of grated cheese, and cream cheese in plain and strawberry.

I also buy two types of milk-whole and 1% (three if you count the soy milk for one of my daycare kids)

The cracker shelf has about 8 different kinds on it, and we have several kinds of chips in the closet.

I am available to take my kids to many activities:  Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Karate, Band, Ballet, Football, Softball, Baseball and who knows what else.

All that being said, my kids work hard.  They don't expect a free ride.  They know that for Tom and I to have time for their activities, we all have to work hard around the house.  With the five of them doing chores, I never have to vacuum, swifter, dust, take out trash or recycle, empty or load the dishwasher, put away leftovers, pick up toys, or clean bathrooms (including toilets and bathtubs).  They carry in groceries and help put them away.  They help fix meals and clean up afterwards.  They feed and water the pets and scoop the poop.  They keep their own rooms (semi) cleaned, make their beds, and put away their own laundry.

So really, I think I've got it pretty good....I even get a foot rub from them once in a while!

When the Kids Grow-Up

I love my kids.  I love being with them.  But some day they will move out.  And then I'm pretty sure they will no longer vacuum my house.  You see, I hate to vacuum.  It's one of those jobs that would always fall to the bottom of my list and therefore not get done....but that was in the days before kids....Now, I never have to vacuum.  I haven't vacuumed for about five years.  But my floors are vacuumed almost daily (sometimes the kids are all gone on a weekend!)  Maybe that is why that the vacuum I got in 1994 lasted for over 10 years and now one only lasts us about two before dying, it is now over-used.  Granted we usually buy inexpensive vacuum cleaners--wouldn't want them banging an expensive model in and out of the garage daily.  But ours does get a work out....kids, dogs and cats bring in lots of dirt!

So, a few Sunday mornings ago, I was reading the paper with my husband and I saw an add for one of those little flying-saucer shaped robot vacuums.  They've gotten cheaper since they first came out, and probably work better to.  So I say to Tom, "When the kids move out...."

He interrupted me with a laugh an said, "That's not going to happen for a LONG time!"

I know that and that's great, but when they do, I'm getting a robot vacuum.  Until then, I don't need one, I have kids!

I'm also hoping that the dogs get old and die before the kids grow-up.  That may sound like an awful, mean, morbid thing to say, but the facts of life are that dogs don't live nearly as long as people, and they probably will die before then whether I wish it or not.....and I don't want to be stuck scooping the poop when the kids move out any more than I want to vacuum! 

Problem Solving

I really want my kids to grow up to be problem solvers, not problem finders.

I really want them to come to me and say "can you help me do this" instead of "this is a problem".  This attitude is probably a carry over from when I worked for Rodney at the Medicine Shoppe.  His policy was, never tell a customer, "I don't know".  Instead we were to say, "let me find out for you."  In doing this we
were open to figuring out the problem instead of relying on someone else to solve it.

My kids are smart.  It doesn't show sometimes, but I know it's in there.  I want them to use their own brains instead of relying on mine.  If the solution to the problem is getting my assistance, that is fine....I just want them to come up with the solution instead of telling me the problem and hoping I can figure it out (or worse yet just standing there hoping that I can read their minds when I don't even know the problem exists!)

I think maybe it might be working....Yesterday, Noah brings me a half open can and says "this can has a hard spot right here." 
"Are you asking me something or telling me something," I asked? 
"Telling you...." 
So I commented "Yeah, some cans have a hard spot."
I got a blank look.  So I added, "Sometimes it's hard to get the can opener all the way around."
Still a blank look.  I waited.  He says again "but it's hard!"
So I asked "oh no, what are you going to do?'
He walked back into the kitchen, so I felt sorry for him, so I called after him, "I kind of thought that you could ask me to help you open it."
Then he caught on and asked me to help with the can opener.

Fast forward to this morning.  Same kid different can.
"This peanut butter is hard to open!"
"Are you asking me something, or telling me?"
"Can you help me open this?"

What a good problem solver.....but I anticipate the first conversation occurring again!

And maybe some day they won't need my brain at all to figure things out.....
 

Band Concert

Last Wednesday was our kids' Christmas band concert.  It's amazing how much they've improved from when they started!

Faith is in advanced band and has been playing the flute since September 2007.  She also can play the clarinet and piano, but not as well as flute.  She even played the flute for a wine and art night where she participated with her ballet studio.

Jared and Cody are in intermediate band and have been playing since September 2009.  Jared plays the trombone and Cody plays the saxophone.

All the kids started out with instruments that their grandparents had....Thank You Grandma's and Grandpa's!!  Faith now has a new flute, and Cody was given a saxophone.

Noah and Alex can hardly wait to join band when they get to fifth grade.  I am so thankful for a school system that offers band.  There is no way we could afford lessons for five kids!  The school is great about letting the kids participate, even though they are home schooled for the rest of their classes.

The rest of the Elk

Finally, Friday night we got the rest of the elk packaged.  About 150 pounds all together.  Cut up the last leg on Friday morning and then Tom took the scraps to be ground into hamburger (is it still called hamburger if it's not beef?  Or should I just call it ground elk?)

What do you call a cow that's missing it's two front legs?
Lean Ground Beef!
HaHaHa....sorry I got sidetracked.  We can do these jokes forever around here....even though we all know the answers to them!

Anyway, he came back with 88 pounds of ground elk.....or elk burger.....elk hamburger????
We set up an assembly line of wrapping.

Tom cut the paper (and ran up to the store twice for more), Jared weighed out one pound piles and pressed them into a rectangle container to make bricks and I wrapped.  Then whoever was free, labeled and stuck them in the freezer.

During this process, I had to remind Jared a time or two that the burger bricks needed to be somewhat level so the packages stacked nicely.  He was worried about it being a race and trying to keep me from catching up.  I told him that he had to do it my way because I was the wrapping boss.  Then I asked him what he would do if he was the boss (great conversations happen when you are working at mindless jobs!).  His first thought was that he would remove the time limits on video game playing (30 minutes per day is our rule).  Then he thought for a minute and decided that he had a better thing to do as boss......he would like to change football to be a year round sport.  Then he could play all the time and get really good to make it to the pro's!  Guess his life must be pretty good if those are the only things he can think of to change!

We cooked up some elk stew for dinner on Friday night and then elk steaks for dinner tonight.....mmmmm.....and still over 100 pounds left to enjoy! 

Elk Update

Yesterday, the boys helped Tom get the elk cleaned up and hung.  We got some pictures of Cody and Jared sawing off the feet....Cody said that was his favorite part!  Alex was delighted to watch and occasionally helped to hold the leg still.  Jared was very interested in the head.  He told me "I think she needed to spend more time brushing her teeth!"  He was also very interested in the Ivory teeth that are supposed to be sent in from any elk that you get.  I'd never heard of such a thing, but I've never been a hunter, so I guess I've never needed to know!  They also enjoyed playing with the tongue and spraying the eyeballs.....yes, they are definitely boys!  I heard all about where the head was attached and why the guts got left in the woods and the elk didn't come home whole.  We didn't get a lot of book school work done yesterday, but they learned about hunting, butchering, anatomy, and hard work....I'm glad they are home during the day and can take advantage of unexpected opportunities like this.  Faith didn't get as interested in the process as the boys.  Thursday we are going to cut up the meat and wrap it for the freezer....My funny husbands says "I don't do roasts, because inside every roast is a lot of little steaks just waiting to get out!"

Sawing off the feet

Hung and Waiting to be cut up

Jared and Cody

Noah and Alex

New Discovery!

Downloading my pictures from my camera can be a little bit of a chore.  I have to get out the external hard drive, find the cords, get it all arranged on my counter, and by that time I've usually used up all of my free time and don't have time to blog about whatever picture it was that I was trying to get.  But this morning, I made a discovery....I was hoping it would work, and it did!  Got out only my camera cord and was able to access the picture I wanted without downloading them to my hard drive!  Quick and easy and don't have to waste all that effort when there is only a couple of pictures in my camera.

Here is the picture I took this morning--the sight I awoke to:

For some reason I found dead elk feet to be strangely amusing.  Tom got his elk yesterday at about 10 am.  He made a quick trip home to get the wheelbarrows and his Dad to help and headed back out.  He finally got home with it at about 6:30....he was exhausted, but then had to stay up late to take care of it.  From what it looks like this morning, he had to put it to bed.  LOL  I have to admit this is the first time I've ever woken up to an elk sleeping on a table in my back yard!  The boys are going to help him wash and hang it today and later this week we'll cut it up and freeze it.  Mmmmm think of all the yummy meals waiting on that table! 

Small Victories on Three Hours Sleep

I couldn't sleep last night....finally fell asleep some time after 1:30am....up at 5am.....night was not long enough.  I could list all the things that don't happen when Mom doesn't sleep, but instead today I'll celebrate what did happen. 
*Three different sets of kids to school on time-with all their stuff. 
*Healthy meals prepared and served on time-even cooked up the turkey carcass for lunch time turkey noodles. 
*Diapers changed, naps and bottles given. 
*School work corrected. 
*History read aloud.
*Didn't loose my temper.
*Hand wash dishes washed.
*One load of laundry done.
*Bed made.
*Check deposited.
*Traded hand massages with Alex.
*USDA paper work done.
*Counter mess straightened.
*345 questions answered (approximate #)

And now I think I'll go to bed.

Snake Tongues

Me:  Jared, get me out the bread knife....that's the really long bumpy one...

Jared:  You mean the one with the snake tongue?

Yep, that's the one.....
Funny how kids see things differently than adults!

Concerts

With his room nice and clean, Noah has had time for his musical activities.

This week he has practiced keyboard, guitar and trumpet in his "bandroom".

With Tom off to McMinnville for the evening to take the big kids to activities,

I was treated to concerts by Noah.



First try at posting videos.....

If you were able to view these, you should be impressed with my computer skills.

If you couldn't see them, I'll have to try again another time!

Toys and the Great Room Cleanout

Friday, when we had no school and only one daycare extra, the kids and I held a special event that I dubbed "THE GREAT ROOM CLEAN OUT".  The kids were not as excited as I was to get this job out of the way, but now that it is done, they are enjoying their clear, clean rooms.  We ended up having to take a truck load of garbage to the dump....I couldn't believe how much trash was hidden in their rooms!  We also took a load to Goodwill, and I have another load in the back of the van ready to go. 

Part of the reason they were willing to get rid of so much stuff is that we are mean parents.  We told them before we cleaned that they have way too much stuff, and we won't be buying any toys for Christmas -because they already have enough-and instead we are just getting them canned food.  That might be a small stretch of the truth....we really aren't buying toys, but we have stayed away from the grocery store for our shopping.

But who needs toys anyway....they hardly use the toys in their rooms anyway, mostly playing Foosball, riding bikes or playing with our kitten....I think the kitten is the favorite toy right now, which works out well because the kitten's favorite toys are the round foods that the kids spill on the floor.  She loves when they drop Kix or Grapes!

Notice to my children:

I am not your brain.

If you have not yet read the problem, don't ask me for help.

If I have walked you through 27 identical problems (and you have shown me that you understand), I will no longer answer how to do it.

Do not insist, "but this HAS to be the right answer!"  I have the answer key and I know how to do the problem.  I also have a calculator that will back me up.

Do not expect me to tell you the answer.

I expect you to use YOUR brain to figure things out....do not rely on me to solve every problem.

If I give you an assignment, I trust that you will schedule your time wisely...do not expect minute by minute reminders to get it done on time.

Help involves more than one person working together.  If your brain is not turned on, I cannot help; I can only do it for you.  This option is not available at this time.

When I am giving you directions, and you are not listening, it is not my problem that you don't know what to do.  I do not talk because I enjoy the sound of my voice....the words are actually coming out of my mouth for a reason.

You have a chore list....it is your reminder, not me.

Contrary to popular belief, I do not read minds.  Don't stand there looking at me blankly and assume that I should be telling you what to do.  I don't know why you are there!

Any single sentence containing the words it, stuff, that, and thing, cannot be answered intelligently....I do not know what you are talking about.

God gave YOU a perfectly good brain of your own.  Use it!

Mondays

Someday, I might miss our crazy Mondays....but it might be a while before I get to that point.  Rush, rush, rush is what we do....although, football is now over, so it slowed down a smidgen.  It seems like everything we do happens on Mondays.  We start off the morning with getting my overnight daycare kids dressed and off to school by 8:00 (although the last two Mondays they haven't been here).  Then most Mondays I take and pick up another daycare child from preschool at 9:00 and 11:30.  Faith has to be at band by 11:10, so some time before that we have to get all of our together school work done.  Faith then gets picked up at 12:00.  Then all the kids have to leave by 3:30 for McMinnville--boys to karate lesson and Faith dropped off at Grandma's who will drop her off at ballet at 6:00.   The boys are back at 5:00 in time to eat dinner, then off to Cub Scouts by 6:00 with Noah--along with Cody and Jared who are den chiefs....then run them home at 7:00 so Cody and Jared can go across the street to Boy Scouts, and I can then take Alex to Cub Scouts.....Come back with Alex at 8:00, in time to go pick up Faith from ballet in McMinnville.  Did I mention that in the mix of all that there is always between 2 and 6 daycare kids here as well?  And if we have any appointments to make, we try to schedule them on Mondays because it's Tom's day off.  Luckily Tom has Mondays off, so we can split up all that running around....and luckily the rest of the week isn't as crazy! 

Gizmo

 This is the cute new addition to our house.  She is so far the best cat we have ever gotten.  She is just the right balance of playful and cuddly, puts up with
kids hauling her around, remembers to use the litter box, and rewards petting with purrs.  The kids have been building Gizmo all sorts of Duplo cat houses/playgrounds.  They started out building cat jails, but I vetoed that plan.  The one in the picture here, has a door at the bottom--which she goes in willingly.  Then the kids hold a wiggling string over the top and she pops up to grab it, "Just like Santa popping up out of a chimney!"  It never gets old....they do it over and over and over until they get called away to do something else.

The Cutest Trick-or-Treaters in Sheridan

As usual, we headed to Goodwill at the beginning of October to find our costumes.

Faith the Witch....but she kept smiling and couldn't give a scary face

Jared the Skeleton

Cody Uncle Sam....

which very few people identified....most guessed Abraham Lincoln or George Washington....

come on people really?

Alex the Deviled Egg....

most people had a hard time figuring out this costume as well, but laughed when they did get it....

thanks to Family Fun magazine for this idea

Noah the Ultimate Super Hero....

Superman costume, Iron Man mask, and (not pictured) Batman cape....

A little odd, but he was delighted with it