Catering to my children

So, we watched "The Middle" this week (if you haven't seen it, it is very funny) and it got me thinking.  The theme of the show was that the parents spent all of their time doing everything the kids wanted and nothing they wanted (for instance, they always bought cheese pizza even though they liked Hawaiian, because the kids hated pineapple).  They also dropped everything every time the kids needed something, (like if they left their lunch at home, or needed something for a last minute school project).  The kids always chose what was on TV, and were expected to do no work around the house.

Of course I thought "I'm not like that."  My kids eat what they are served.  Our rule is "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit."  Then I went grocery shopping.  While trying to fit everything in the fridge, I realized that I do cater to my kids to some extent. 

We currently have four flavors of salad dressing in the fridge, including three varieties of ranch, to suit every ones tastes.  One ranch is Cody's homemade recipe, which is the only one he will eat, one is Hidden Valley (Faith's favorite), and one is Kraft, which no one likes, but I got it on sale so I feed it to the daycare kids who are too young to care.   But I also have the kinds of dressing that Tom and I prefer.

In the cheese drawer we also have a type of cheese to fit every one's likes and every possible situation.  We have string cheese, Velveeta, sliced American, bricks of pepper jack, regular jack, cheddar, vintage white sharp cheddar & Colby jack, three varieties of grated cheese, and cream cheese in plain and strawberry.

I also buy two types of milk-whole and 1% (three if you count the soy milk for one of my daycare kids)

The cracker shelf has about 8 different kinds on it, and we have several kinds of chips in the closet.

I am available to take my kids to many activities:  Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Karate, Band, Ballet, Football, Softball, Baseball and who knows what else.

All that being said, my kids work hard.  They don't expect a free ride.  They know that for Tom and I to have time for their activities, we all have to work hard around the house.  With the five of them doing chores, I never have to vacuum, swifter, dust, take out trash or recycle, empty or load the dishwasher, put away leftovers, pick up toys, or clean bathrooms (including toilets and bathtubs).  They carry in groceries and help put them away.  They help fix meals and clean up afterwards.  They feed and water the pets and scoop the poop.  They keep their own rooms (semi) cleaned, make their beds, and put away their own laundry.

So really, I think I've got it pretty good....I even get a foot rub from them once in a while!

When the Kids Grow-Up

I love my kids.  I love being with them.  But some day they will move out.  And then I'm pretty sure they will no longer vacuum my house.  You see, I hate to vacuum.  It's one of those jobs that would always fall to the bottom of my list and therefore not get done....but that was in the days before kids....Now, I never have to vacuum.  I haven't vacuumed for about five years.  But my floors are vacuumed almost daily (sometimes the kids are all gone on a weekend!)  Maybe that is why that the vacuum I got in 1994 lasted for over 10 years and now one only lasts us about two before dying, it is now over-used.  Granted we usually buy inexpensive vacuum cleaners--wouldn't want them banging an expensive model in and out of the garage daily.  But ours does get a work out....kids, dogs and cats bring in lots of dirt!

So, a few Sunday mornings ago, I was reading the paper with my husband and I saw an add for one of those little flying-saucer shaped robot vacuums.  They've gotten cheaper since they first came out, and probably work better to.  So I say to Tom, "When the kids move out...."

He interrupted me with a laugh an said, "That's not going to happen for a LONG time!"

I know that and that's great, but when they do, I'm getting a robot vacuum.  Until then, I don't need one, I have kids!

I'm also hoping that the dogs get old and die before the kids grow-up.  That may sound like an awful, mean, morbid thing to say, but the facts of life are that dogs don't live nearly as long as people, and they probably will die before then whether I wish it or not.....and I don't want to be stuck scooping the poop when the kids move out any more than I want to vacuum! 

Problem Solving

I really want my kids to grow up to be problem solvers, not problem finders.

I really want them to come to me and say "can you help me do this" instead of "this is a problem".  This attitude is probably a carry over from when I worked for Rodney at the Medicine Shoppe.  His policy was, never tell a customer, "I don't know".  Instead we were to say, "let me find out for you."  In doing this we
were open to figuring out the problem instead of relying on someone else to solve it.

My kids are smart.  It doesn't show sometimes, but I know it's in there.  I want them to use their own brains instead of relying on mine.  If the solution to the problem is getting my assistance, that is fine....I just want them to come up with the solution instead of telling me the problem and hoping I can figure it out (or worse yet just standing there hoping that I can read their minds when I don't even know the problem exists!)

I think maybe it might be working....Yesterday, Noah brings me a half open can and says "this can has a hard spot right here." 
"Are you asking me something or telling me something," I asked? 
"Telling you...." 
So I commented "Yeah, some cans have a hard spot."
I got a blank look.  So I added, "Sometimes it's hard to get the can opener all the way around."
Still a blank look.  I waited.  He says again "but it's hard!"
So I asked "oh no, what are you going to do?'
He walked back into the kitchen, so I felt sorry for him, so I called after him, "I kind of thought that you could ask me to help you open it."
Then he caught on and asked me to help with the can opener.

Fast forward to this morning.  Same kid different can.
"This peanut butter is hard to open!"
"Are you asking me something, or telling me?"
"Can you help me open this?"

What a good problem solver.....but I anticipate the first conversation occurring again!

And maybe some day they won't need my brain at all to figure things out.....